Is Elisa Lam’s Tumblr From ‘The Vanishing At The Cecil Hotel’ Active? – Women’s Health

Netflixs Crime Scene: The Vanishing at the Cecil Hotel takes a deep dive in the tragic disappearance of Elisa Lam. The new true crime docuseries follows 21-year-old Lam, a college student from Vancouver, who vanished on January 31, 2013 during her stay at the infamous Cecil Hotel in downtown Los Angeles. After hotel guests complained about odd-tasting water, her naked body was found submerged in the hotel's rooftop water tank. Prior to her demise, the property already had a reputation for suicides, serial killers including the Night Stalker, and murders earning it the nickname "hotel death."

In addition to interviews with detectives, hotel employees, and even online sleuths, the documentary sets the scene with excerpts from Lam's Tumblr blog, titled Nouvelle-Nouveau. The posts give insight into Lam's personality, mental health struggles, and state of mind leading up to her disappearance and death.

"[Lams] story is an integral part of the Cecil Hotels history," director Joe Berlinger (FYI: He also created The Ted Bundy Tapes) told TV Insider. "I didnt want to invent dialogue or create speculative situations, so everything she says via voiceover in the show comes directly from her online posts."

Those same posts and Lam's Tumblr blog is still active today. You can scroll through her prolific site, with some days garnering 80+ photos and comments. The Tumblr opens up a somber window into Lam's psyche prior to her final days.

She described the Cecil Hotel: "I have arrived in Laland

and there is a monstrosity of a building next to the place Im staying

when I say monstrosity mind you Im saying as in gaudy

but then again it was built in 1928 hence the art deco theme so yes it IS classy but then since its LA it went on crack

Fairly certain this is where Baz Lurhmann needs to film the Great Gatsby."

"The longer I live, the further I am thrust into my conviction that beauty lies in the empty. As hard as we may try to feel complete, that emptiness is ever there, staring us in the face. The persistence of this void, its undeniable stubbornness, goes some way to persuade me that God willed it to be there - because he saw it to be beautiful. Nothingness is silence, peace and promise, and because atoms are predominantly made of vacuum, we too are predominantly empty. Perhaps God was intent on making nothing, and had to make do with us, the weed that grew between."

Lam was last seen alive in surveillance footage from the Cecil Hotel's elevator.

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On Jan. 13, 2013 she posted: "Tumblr is pretty cool because no matter what you choose to blog about (whether it be jokes, a fandom, fashion, or something else) someone out there will always explicitly hate you for it with mad intensity."

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Tagged with "#bit of an emotional wreck atm," she wrote on Jan. 9, 2013:

"Im in such a state that the tiniest things are setting me off

and making me snap at people out of frustration

Im just trying to speak English to them

and its as though they think Im speaking Hungarian

Its upsetting to find out that if you care enough for a person and see them in need,

they dont want your help and they get angry if you do help.

Having depression seems to mean that youve lost the ability to even help someone else in trouble.

I dont want to end up bitter and resentful and angry at everyone.

Why do we think we know everything when youre just 14? Why do you stop growing when you turn 25?

Tumblr, why have you made me notice every single miniscule detail and therefore so much more judgmental?"

Netflix

She shared her struggle with low energy prior to leaving home Nov. 19:

"I slept the past 3 days away. Apparently Im very nervous about my upcoming trip and want to avoid doing anything productive.

Im pretty out of it right now. Brain buffering..36%"

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On Nov. 12, 2012, she described her "sketchy" and "scary" accommodations: "Moved into a much quieter and cleaner hostel.

Unfortunately Im feeling lonely or homesick? Hmmm a different kind of lonely. Maybe anxiety? Or just body saying SCARY SITUATION GTFO but really its fine its really fine. I suppose a bit of culture shock since its just so very different. Ottawa is very nice (a bit sleepy) but the people can look incredibly sketchy and the place has a general tired feel to it (maybe because its winter). Super jealous that they can just switch from French to English like its no big deal.

I think I just want to talk to someone. Too bad."

Frida wrote, "I hope the exit is joyful and I hope never to return," a few days before her death in 1954. Lam shared it on Tumblr the same year she also perished.

On Jan. 3, 2013 she wrote: "I think Im having that delayed breakup meltdown. Rough days

Its sunk in how lonely I am

and why people go out on the weekends to clubs, to the lit up downtown buildings, to clubs with loud music, and to drink drink drink drink

just so for a moment you can feel less lonely

I dont get why we cant just be enough for ourselves. That questionwere just half a person until we meet our counterparts. Until then we have to walk around in this state of longing and thinking oh hes out there or something like that.

I think in December I just did that. I talked to anyone and everyone hoping for a person I can depend on. But no one wants to have someone elses problems thrust upon them and be expected to hold them up. I get why; were selfish people, we have our own issues to deal with how could you possibly take on someone elses. When youve left high school and youre busy trying to become accomplished what time do you have except for shallow infrequent bursts of conversation with an acquaintance.

It seems we make our packs so early in life and after that we build up defenses so no outsiders can get in.

I just want a friend. No I want more, I want a group of friends."

In one stream of consciousness post on Tumblr in November 2012, Lam wrote: "Today has been one of those blah days full of apathy. Really dangerous too; I can see myself feeling suicidal and it always scares me when I start feeling suicidal."

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She hoped sharing her experience would resonate with others with a bipolar diagnosis. "I have been hypomanic since Tuesday.

I HAVE TO GET SOME SLEEP OR I WILL CRASH

and I am so scared of how big of a crash this one will be.

How do I know this is might become THE BIG ONE? My memory is super compromised on present things right now.

Its just.I understand everything completely. Fellow bipolars, you may be the only ones who will understand what this is like...."

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The posts are all re-blogs and primarily images. The final post appears in December 2013, nearly a year after her death.

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Is Elisa Lam's Tumblr From 'The Vanishing At The Cecil Hotel' Active? - Women's Health

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