Strategist on stimulus: the market has already priced it in – Yahoo Money

The Daily Beast

On Thursday night, most Americans celebrated the fact that barring something truly unprecedented happening, we will never again have to sit through a Donald Trump presidential debate. Except for when Saturday Night Live recreated it this weekend.Yes, for perhaps the final time, Alec Baldwins frequently frustrating Donald Trump and Jim Carreys increasingly problematic Joe Biden came together for an SNL cold open debate that hopefully wont sway any undecided voters this close to the 2020 presidential election.With Maya Rudolph stepping out of her Kamala Harris costume and into the shoes of NBC News Kristen Welker, the debate began with Trump telling Hoda what a job she was doing.It really is creepier when youre nice, but thanks the moderator responded.Really, youre taking very good care of us tonight, Trump said. Now could you just tell us the specials, please? Chris Wallace Admits Hes Jealous of How Well Kristen Welkers Debate WentFrom there, the president defended his record on the coronavirus, claiming, Were doing terrific. Were rounding the corner. In fact weve rounded so many corners weve gone all the way around the block and were back where we started in March. Later, he added, Were making so many ventilators. And I dont want to get everybody excited, but if I get elected I promise everyone in America will be on a big beautiful ventilator.Carrey, meanwhile, portrayed Biden as less of a bumbling grandfather and more of the normal, frustrated politician he is, barely keeping it together in the face of Trumps outlandish attacks. Periodically, he would reveal his inner monologue. Just breathe, Joe, he told himself at one point. If you dont breathe, youll die. When Trump started ranting about his corrupt son Hunter, Biden thought, Dont do it, Joe. Dont retaliate, even though his kids are a bunch of charity-scamming write-offs looking like they just came out of a two-week Vegas coke binge.The sketch really took off, however, when the president once again claimed that he couldnt release his tax returns because theyre under audit, adding If you dont believe me you can talk to my lawyer, Rudy Giuliani.With that, Kate McKinnons Giuliani could be seen doing something that will look very familiar to anyone who saw him in the Borat sequel this weekend with his back to the camera. What? No! Its not what it looks like! he said. My microphone was stuck... on my balls. Is this another Borat? You gotta tell me if its a Borat.How Rudy Giuliani Got Caught Red-Handed With Borats DaughterYoure in trouble now, Biden, because Rudys got a lot of sane and coherent information that looks really bad for you, Joe, Trump then told his opponent.Get ready for this truth bomb! Giuliani added. Your son Hunter got $3 million from Moscow and his friend Tony Babdooey has emails right there on the wet laptop from hell! And our eyewitness saw everything and he is blind!Ultimately, SNL gave Biden a chance to make his honest closing message to America. Look, everybody, you know who he is and you know who I am, he said. Im good old Joe. Im reliable as a rock. Ive got a five-star safety rating and Im ranked best midsize in my class by J.D. Power and Associates. I dont have a gold toilet seat. I have a soft, spongy one that hisses whenever I park my keister.Theres only two things I do, he continued. I kick ass and I take trains. And I dont see any trains in sight.For more comedy, listen and subscribe toThe Last Laughpodcast.Read more at The Daily Beast.Get our top stories in your inbox every day. Sign up now!Daily Beast Membership: Beast Inside goes deeper on the stories that matter to you. Learn more.

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Strategist on stimulus: the market has already priced it in - Yahoo Money

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