The pain of an IVF couple whose five-year wait for a baby has been delayed even longer by coronavirus – Wales Online

A man has spoken about the heartbreak and uncertainty of not knowing whether he and his wife will ever become parents.

Kevin Button, 35, and his wife Nicci, 36, have been trying to conceive for five years through IVF.

But despite rounds of treatment, and even winning a competition for help in America, coronavirus has seen their hopes dashed for the time being.

Kevin, from Tonyrefail, has spoken of the impact the experience has had on the couples relationship, but also how it has given them strength, and led him to create a new support network for men suffering with fertility issues.

The customer services worker said: Six years ago, I found out I was unable to have children. I was drinking and was taking drugs. I was lucky to have met my partner Nicci. She saved my life.

For about five years we have been trying. There have been heartbreaking attempts.

It would mean the world, it would mean everything to become parents. It would be the final piece of the puzzle.

In a throw of the dice, Kevin entered a contest to go to California to have IVF treatment last year and won.

We were supposed to go there in March but it could be May or it could be the end of the year now. We have nothing to lose, its just frustrating we cant book flights to go."

Kevin said it's the "continuous setbacks" that is the hardest for the couple.

The not knowing, the waiting, the financial pressure. Its all just too much. All we want is to be a family," he said.

There are a lot of couples in a similar situation. Its heartbreaking at the moment.

The Fertility Network UK ambassador said the pressure of the situation had taken its toll on the couples relationship and that they had to turn to counselling to help them through the experience.

New research shows two thirds of people currently in suspended fertility treatment will run the risk of putting themselves under financial pressure to go private, according to findings from Fertility Help Hub (FHH).

It has led 100% of women to say they feel mentally traumatised by the setbacks caused from having fertility treatment delayed and 47% of people fearing that Covid delays could spell the end of parenthood.

More than a third of hopeful parents say the delays have put even more pressure on their relationships with partners.

But Kevin said the support currently available is better than it was several years ago.

We had counselling as well and we had to talk to each other to get through it, he said.

We would have days when we would argue as well. But I was pushing my partner away, I was in a dark place.

I would have a few drinks and felt like I had no-one to turn to.

I took up running and took my frustration on the road.

He has now channelled his energy into helping other men who are living with infertility problems and set up The Man Cave online to give men a forum to go to for support.

I set up my own page on Instagram and set up Man Cave to talk about infertility - there are so many stories.

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He said the majority of research is based around the fertility issues facing women rather than men.

Mens infertility has recently been cast into the spotlight by Carmarthen-born comedian Rhod Gilbert through his recent BBC Wales show, Stand Up To Infertility.

Rhod went on his own journey for treatment but he also looked at the problems faced by other men in the frank and revealing programme.

Kevin said: The more men talk about it; we will break the stigma. Rhod Gilberts show was amazing - it needs to be talked about.

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The pain of an IVF couple whose five-year wait for a baby has been delayed even longer by coronavirus - Wales Online

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