Archive for Adoption



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“The Adoption Option” TV Show

Being an adoptive father of two wonderful children myself, many people approach me on a regular basis, and ask me about the various aspects of child adoption. As a community service project, I recently created “The Adoption Option” which is a series of non-profit educational TV shows, regarding the various aspects of child adoption. Three […]

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You Grew In My Heart

Adoption is not a secret in our home. Adoption is celebrated as the special way we have been brought together. It can be a confusing concept for a small child. My ten year old has referred to her birth mother as her step mother (utterly confusing her poor teacher who was pretty sure that neither […]

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Worries

One hard part about continuing to do foster care after you have adopted is the effect it could potentially have on your forever family. This is something I am constantly trying to balance, as I take care of the needs of the children who stay with us for a short time, while remaining aware of […]

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…and God told me

I wish I could give credit to the person who wrote this but unfortunately, I do not know who it is. It was given to me many years ago from a friend in a foster parent support group. I repost it only because it has given me so much strength over the years. I read […]

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The Next President of the United States

I often think about what my children are going to grow up to be. It is difficult to think of a time that they are not living in my home. I want them to be healthy and happy but I want so much more for them than that. I want them to educated, compassionate and […]

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Slopping Through Murky Waters

As I sit in the hospital with my youngest child my mind drifts back ten years when it was my middle son, OSG, that was having medical issues. The walls have changed but the heart behind those in a caregiver positions remains intact and this is good. Thank heavens for those in sacrificial caregiver positions.Very […]

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Willing to Wait

Two weeks ago, we celebrated one year since “the littles” (a sibling group of three) came to live at our house. They were 10 months (boy),21 months (girl) and almost 3 years (boy). At that time, the oldest had regular tantrums, some lasting 40 minutes or longer. He was very sad looking much of the […]

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Lucky Them? Blessed Us!

Countless times, when finding out that my children have all been adopted from foster care, people have commented on how lucky these children are to have found someone to love them and care for them.  On a couple of occasions the comments have been made directly to my children!  Lucky?  I’m not sure lucky is […]

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Two Little Boys

I have been away all weekend with the ladies. What a great time of fun and fellowship we had been scrapbooking. Looking through all of those older pictures of the kids brought back the expected wave of emotion. Time has certainly moved forward. Gone are the little boy faces that stared back at me. In […]

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Whoops

Since starting to write this blog I have neglected my personal journal, something I have always found to be quite therapeutic and healing. The following late night confession is an example of the type of writing you might find, if you were so lucky to get a glimpse, into my diary.I was a bad mom […]

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Questions

I had the afternoon all planned out. I would go for the good mom points and take all the kids to the pool. While there I would combine being a good mom with taking some time out for me to read a good book. Sounds wonderful, right? Well, it worked…until a little old grandmother sat […]

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All Work and No Play

I sit amidst the chaos that I call home trying to type, think and form complete sentences while behind me rages a full concert. My concert pianist, known to many of you as OSG, is supposed to be practicing his piano. Instead he has, with the help of his sister, engaged in a a full […]

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The Apples of My Eye

Today I saw a lady who had been involved with our family many years ago when my middle son, OSG first came to our family as a foster child. She was so delighted to see the boys that she hugged both of them tightly saying, “I just can’t believe how much you have grown.”This is so […]

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Finding the Right Words

A couple days ago I posted that the birth mom, to the son we have been raising for 16 months, was ready to relinquish her parental rights. To say I was shocked by her decision would be an understatement. She had promised a war and with the court date months away I had put it […]

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I’m in the Wrong Family!

My son came through the kitchen the other day with a very sad face on. He did the shuffling of the feet, the loud sigh, and the puppy dog eyes, until I had enough (took about two seconds) and I asked if something was bothering him. He replied, forlornly, that he has decided he was […]

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I Am Grateful

I have neat children. They have an amazing journey that they have walked together and though it is hard to tell sometimes, they genuinely like each other. They watch out for each other and are very careful how other people talk to and about their siblings.I had a cool talk with my middle son, Orange Shoe Guy […]

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Catch and Release

Someone told me the other day I am not a “catch and release” foster parent. Those of you, such as myself, who are unfamiliar with fishing terms,  may be confused with the terminology. It basically means I am not one who takes a child into my life, my heart and lets go easily. Despite my […]

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Are You Growing?

In previous posts, I referred to my middle son as Orange Shoe Guy (OSG) out of sheer delight for his choice of very bright, orange footwear. I will continue to call him that for the sake of anonymity.OSG is a great kid. He is interested and loveable, but he struggles.He struggles with medical issues. He […]

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Good Work

There is nothing better than blogging in the dark, quiet stillness that putting the children to bed brings. I have to admit, I love it. It is the one hour of complete serenity that I snatch. I know what you are thinking, “Wow, she needs a vacation!”Those of you who are thinking that you are […]

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Boy In the Kitchen…

As we walk through this journey of foster/adoption, I am continually amazed at the amount of stretching and learning that must happen in order for normal life to occur and be successful. It seems that one would get better at adapting…I feel that some days are harder than others but as we move toward the age […]

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How Many Moms Do You Have?

We have some fairly complicated family dynamics going on in our house. Just today my son (through foster care) asked my daughter (from birth) where her mom was. She looked at me and then looked at him like he was speaking gibberish.He said, “You know, your real mom, not the fake one” Confused look on […]

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My Daughter

“You have big milk holders.”  The first words my daughter ever spoke to me will forever bring a smile to my face.  A little black girl with frizzy hair sneaking up to see a sight she had never imagined, much less seen.  A mother nursing her infant son, giving all that she could to nourish […]

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I Lost My Daughter Today

In my last post I wrote about my spunky daughter.  Despite the ups and downs, which come when parenting a child with attachment issues, we were committed to her and wanted nothing more than to make her a permanent member of our family. After two years the state took her from our house in a […]

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Enjoy…Separate…Teach

A trip down memory lane seems to be the order of the day. Especially since this week, my eldest became a teenager…The middle child is only four months away from this [now] coveted status and the youngest…well, she is just the youngest.It is hard to believe that we are nearing the eleven year mark of […]

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An (Almost) Five Foot Wonder Woman

One of the hardest parts of any adoption, but especially foster adoption placements, is the idea that there is a whole part of a child’s life that is unknown to the parents. They were removed from their parents for a reason (quite often the reason is known) but how the child handled the upheaval is […]

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