How do I explain surrogacy to my family?

It is important for surrogate candidates to ensure they are making the right decision for themselves and their family. The first step is a thorough screening process that educates everyone involved. It is wise to work with an independent third party, such as a gestational surrogacy agency, rather than seeking a match on your own. An agency can help maximize your comfort and provide added security to your surrogate mother experience. During the screening process, they will meet with you and your family to help answer questions and discuss the implications for everyone involved.

It’s very important that your spouse or partner is comfortable and educated about the surrogacy process. They will play a major role in the experience and therefore must also go through an informational interview, psychosocial screening and be part of the legal process. For you, as the surrogate, it’s vital that you have support and encouragement from your significant other. Not only is it important from an emotional standpoint, but because pregnancy is unpredictable. It’s possible that you will require bed rest, additional appointments, or time to recover after a c-section. Your partner’s willingness to take on extra responsibilities with the family and home will make your experience much more comfortable.

Children should also be involved in the experience as much as is appropriate for their age level. Some surrogate mothers are able to explain it as simply as helping another family by taking care of their baby for a little while. Some use books to help explain the situation to slightly older children. Others still are able to bring their older children to appointments and have more direct conversations about the surrogacy process and what a unique experience they are a part of. It’s important to address family interaction and communication with Intended Parents. Will everyone meet for dinner once in a while? Will the children have the opportunity to meet the baby after birth and see him/her with the family? Will there be future contact between the two families?

Consider a reputable surrogacy agency, like ConceiveAbilities, which can help open up the discussion for these important issues. Working with their team – leading from experience while providing gentle guidance on how to explore sometimes sensitive conversations – will make the journey as a surrogate mother rewarding for you, your family and the Intended Parents.

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