Twice in the last month, I’ve had the weirdest thing happen. I got a blind spot in my vision that gradually expanded, and as it expanded the edges turned wavy, and eventually the blind spot went away but the wavy circle remained, and it got bigger and bigger until it eventually got outside the range of my peripheral vision, and I swear I’m not making this up.
I’ve never had a migraine, but I know that blurred or spotted vision is often a warning sign that one is imminent, so the first time it happened I laid down in a dark room with a pillow over my head in case a piercing headache came next. I fell asleep and woke up an hour later feeling just fine, my vision completely back to normal.
The second time it happened was four days ago. Unfortunately this time I was at work, so I couldn’t just go lay down and sleep it off. The upside, though, was that I was able to track how long it lasted (about twenty minutes, start to end). Jon the med student had his own ideas about what had caused it, all of which ended in painful death or paralysis. My health and vision benefits just having taken effect that same day, I decided to set up a regular exam and mention this weird eye thing sometime during the appointment.
When I called the optometrist nearest my office, however, I was told there were no openings for a regular exam until TWO WEEKS later. I said something along the lines of, “Okay, I think I’ll try to find another office, because I’ve had recent episodes of blurriness that I’d like checked out sooner rather than later” and immediately I had an appointment scheduled for Thursday. I thought it had more to do with my unwillingness to wait for an appointment and their need for new patients, but it turns out that wasn’t the case.
As soon as I arrived, I heard the staff throwing around words like “triage” and “emergency”. When the doctor came in to see me, I politely asked her to put on the breaks. I just wanted a regular exam, had casually mentioned to the scheduler this issue I wanted checked out, and never indicated that it was urgent in any way. I made the appointment on a Tuesday for a Thursday, for crying out loud. No medical emergency here. (My fear was that they would charge me some exorbitant ER-type fee through my medical insurance instead of just checking out the issue during my free yearly eye exam. She was great and assured me that she’d do what she could to make sure my visit was covered under my regular vision benefits.)
She ran a couple of tests just to be sure of her diagnosis. Turns out what I’d experienced was an “ocular migraine” – basically a harmless migraine with no pain. Um, yes please. I’ll take it. (Read about ocular migraines here – I about fell out of my chair when I first read the description of symptoms, then saw the illustration. I had drawn a little doodle for a coworker two days before that was a spitting image of the one on that website. Tree and everything!!)
Anyway. Then the awful part happened. As I was preparing to leave, the doctor decided to do one last test, “so we can both sleep tonight”. [deep breath] …She was going to dilate my pupils. I know that this is a thing that eye doctors do, but I’ve been having regular exams since I was in middle school and have never had it done before. I’m super squeamish; I started panicking, and the questions spewed out.
“How long do they take to dilate after you put the drops in?” “About ten minutes.” “How long will it last??” “Usually three to four hours.” “What does it feel like?” “Your eyes will be sensitive to the light. We’ll give you some shades to wear.”
– By this point I’m sweating all over her office, wiping my palms on my jeans–
“But I have to go back to work after this. Will I have to wear them there?” “You’ll probably want to.” “Want to? I don’t want to. Wait! Do you mean it’s going to hurt???” “I don’t want to say it’ll HURT…it’s different for everyone…but your eyes WILL be very sensitive.” “Oh gosh, it sounds like this is going to hurt.” “Well, your pupils expand in darkness to let in more light. When they’re forcefully dilated in daytime, it can be a little uncomfortable.” “What will you do once they’re dilated?” “I’ll shine a light in and have a look.” [my voice goes up two octaves]“LIGHT????” “Safe light.”
–now my stomach is turning, thinking about my pupil stretching like a birth canal and someone shining a light into them when they’re so vulnerable–
“Do people ever get nauseated from it?” [reluctantly] “…………sometimes.”
–now I’m SUPER panicked, like a caged animal–
“Do people throw up???????” [even more reluctantly] “They usually don’t throw up unless I’m testing for ______, which requires me to push on the eyeball after dilation. But I won’t being doing that to you.” “I’m feeling sick just thinking about this.” [genuinely concerned for my mental health] “Really? I’m sure it won’t be as bad as you’re expecting.”
It wasn’t. She put the drops in, I sat in the waiting room by the trash can until fully dilated, then she completed the flashlight part of the exam more quickly than I’m sure she would have if I’d been different. All in all, not the nightmare scenario I’d gotten so worked up about. The worst part was driving back to my office with my glasses OVER the shield-like plastic shades they gave me.
THANK THE STARS I had my own sunglasses in the car that day. I hardly ever wear them and had just tossed them into the Mazda the week before. They obviously wouldn’t work with my glasses over top (necessary for driving), but once I got to the office I ditched the cheap plastic shield and donned my own shades.
I was sorta hoping most people wouldn’t notice. I mean, is it really that weird to wear sunglasses indoors?? Apparently, yes. Every single person that walked past did an extreme double-take. Some then nodded sympathetically and said something along the lines of, “Eye appointment, huh?” Most everyone else just asked the obvious question, “Uhh…why are you wearing sunglasses?” One guy said, “You must have just had your pupils dilated, because I can think of no other circumstance where a normal person would be wearing sunglasses indoors” and I was glad he gave me the benefit of the doubt. The entire thing was hilarious, but next time I book an eye appointment I’ll make it for 4:30 so I can go straight home.
If nothing else, this whole scenario gave me the opportunity to send Jon the following text:
Her: Hi, my name’s Debbie calling from _________, and I need to send a meller to your office. Can I please confirm your melling address? Me: Sure, it’s ________________________. Her: Thank you so much! Could I also get so-and-so’s e-mell address? Me: Yeah, but first – Are you from Utah, by chance? Her: Yes!!! How did you know???? Me: From how you just said the word “mail”. Utahns say “mell”. Her: Oh my gosh, that’s too funny! I didn’t even rillize!!
I might as well tell you about the only time I ever deliberately stole something. The theft just so happened to take place on the exact day that I met Jon, though he has absolutely nothing to do with why I did it (not consciously, anyway. Ha! That is going to be mildly to moderately funny when you find out what I stole!).
Nearly eight years ago my friend Lianna pulled me aside in a panic at her wedding reception. A garter! SHE’D FORGOTTEN A GARTER!!!! How would her husband’s older brother EVER get married if he didn’t catch her garter at the wedding?? Luckily I somehow knew exactly where the nearest lingerie shop was, enlisted Christa to keep me company, and set off for Naughty or Nice, determined to save the day.
We quickly located a suitable specimen and made our way to the register where the cashier handed me a receipt to sign and motioned toward the pen jar. Well, imagine my surprise and supreme delight to there discover a veritable hoard of Bic pens with tiny plastic penises on top!!!!! They were flesh-colored and everything!!!!!!! I gingerly made my selection, signed the receipt, and would have returned the pen to its holder had the cashier not at that exact moment turned her back to fold some unmentionables. Christa, the most straight-and-narrow person I know, saw the look of evil glee spreading over my face as I closely regarded the penis ornament (pornament?), and I’ve never seen laughter turn so quickly to sheer terror. I lowered the pen, and with my gaze locked on hers, opened my purse. She shook her head violently, eyes wide, mouthing “NO!” over and over. I nodded slowly, a maniacal grin on my face. She gesticulated wildly. I dropped the penis pen into my bag. I’m pretty sure it fell in slow motion and caused an echoing thud as it hit the bottom of my purse. We hightailed it back to the wedding reception.
The conclusion to the story is twofold. A) We did NOT go to prison, and B) Lianna’s groom’s older brother DID catch the garter, never mind that he was the only one trying, and he and I were married nine months later. The garter hung from his rearview mirror for approximately five years until the Tucson heat caused it to turn crispy and rigid.
[PS - I typically don’t condone stealing, but if I could do it over again I would have taken extras.]
Do not, under any circumstance, EVER say or type any of the following:
“Pinterest has the best recipes!” “Pinterest has the best photography!” “Pinterest has the cutest clothes!” “Pinterest has the best ideas!” “I read the best blog post on Pinterest!” “I made it from Pinterest!”
Please commit the following to memory: Pinterest is not a retailer. Pinterest is not a designer. Pinterest is not a blog. Pinterest is not a photographer. Pinterest is, plain and simply, a place to catalogue images from the internet. It is a great tool for visually organizing bookmarked pages, but it is not the creator of those things.
[If I had a friend named Jerry who wallpapered an entire room with images of dresses he’d cut out of magazines, I wouldn’t say, “Jerry has THE BEST dresses!!” unless I was an absolute moron, and I am not a moron. Instead, I’d say, “Jerry has the best pictures of dresses!” You see the difference? Please get the language right.]
To make it easier for you, here’s a list of things you CAN say about Pinterest:
“I found it on Pinterest!” “Isn’t Pinterest a great way to organize recipes from all over the internet?” “If you’re wondering what to get me for my birthday, see my “Gimme gimme gimme” board on Pinterest.” “You can get lots of design ideas by browsing Pinterest.” “Look at this funny picture I saw on Pinterest!”
One more thing. If you want to link to something you found on Pinterest, send a link to the actual website, NOT to the pin on your profile. This will not only prove that you understand how Pinterest works, but also eliminate an extra step for me.
27-04-2010 07:33 Renee Gaudreau, ovarian cancer patient, describes her battle with ovarian cancer, and how Dr. Ruchi Garg of Inova Fairfax Hospital used the new, state-of-the-art da Vinci robot to help her.
So I used to do this thing on my blog where I’d post text messages I’d received from friends and family without any context whatsoever, and it tended to be hilarious. My friend Brittany came up with the idea and I glommed right on to it – see previous installations here, here, here, here and here – but when Jon and I moved to the Caribbean, cell phones and text messaging became a distant thing that I’d reminisce fondly about whilst boiling water to do the dishes and murdering hand-sized spiders in my living room.
But I’m bringing it back! And I have no good reason for not doing it sooner. I’ve had a cell phone since April and the bloggable sentiments have been piling up, so much so that I’m splitting this into two separate posts.
Ok.
PART UNO ———————————————–
Looks good to me. You had better pray my next kid isn’t even slightly deformed.
Nothing says happiness to me like wearing a robe.
If you could photoshop that effing pepper that was STILL in my teeth out of those, I’d appreciate it.
Someone just opened a bag of beef jerky.
Are you having a pleasant trip?
The smell lingers after a midnight scrub and hose off in the barn. Smelled up the house and garage too.
I need to learn how to do something
Thank you for your prayers and your death threats.
I am texting you from the bathroom at work where the person in the stall next to me just had the worst case of diarrhea I’ve ever heard.
I’ve told at least 3 people you don’t know that your birthday is on thanksgiving this year.
Probably got meningococcal septicemia
Oh man. Why are you gone when I say my best joke. Sheffield was in the hospital bc he had a peanut lodged in his throat. The obvious joke involves no teeth and not thoroughly gumming his peanut before swallowing.
Um let me think NO
Will you take her out cause she did not crap yet but she is a crap face
I’ve been wanting to go to an X-rated magic show forever so that’d be perfact! (Ashley H)
Do you need/want anything? Also—we have to get pie today.
Aristocats! My predictive text just guessed that one right off, and I’m pretty sure I’ve never typed it before.
I’ve never met a food I didn’t like. Except in Peru.
Here’s another Idaho name. Saw it in the paper. HevenLee. Yup.
“Man, you’ve got it goin’ ON!” – fat guy on cruise ship
[My husband] just came in. [That infant we're babysitting] puked on him. He said, “I don’t want another baby. He’s so lame”
Can you see the hate in Santa’s eyes in this? He’s apparently not happy about the over 50 pound crowd wanting to sit on his lap! Whatever, santa.
My parents will be so happy to see you! And by you I mean Penny.
They are living in dirt under the house and worms don’t rot, they dry up
I just posted the best Bigfoot sighting pic on my blog
I’m puking, in a good way, over your job too!!!
They will cut her open and we can’t have her on the mend while on vacay, that would ruin our lives.
This Angell guy is the worst.
I’m ready to eat cheese now
Poor can o’ beans
I forgot to call you when I opened the picture of that baby but omg!!! I’d put that baby up for adoption so fast! Jk. Maybe.
Something amazing has happened. It started happening a couple of weeks ago but it became official today. My position with my old company just became permanent – something I’ve been hoping for and (literally) dreaming about ever since I left the firm to go live overseas two and a half years ago.
Actually, I should say that this started happening months ago. My job hunt, in retrospect, went exactly how it needed to in order for this to come about. There were jobs I was certain I’d be offered that I never heard back on. There were jobs I turned down because I knew I didn’t have to settle for crappy pay and no benefits. There was an interview that I walked out on because I didn’t feel safe. There was this really weird experience with a recruiter who ended up actually being the company owner’s wife?? – I didn’t get that job; I’m sure it went to someone more ugly. And there was that one job that I worked for two days – two days that filled me with a disproportionate dread. Now, in hindsight, I know that no matter how much I’d hated that job, I could have never quit full-time work to accept a month-long temporary position with my old firm. THAT’S why I knew I’d made a mistake almost as soon as I accepted that job, even though I couldn’t properly explain it. THAT’S why three days of panic evaporated the moment I quit and walked out the door. THAT’S why I never heard back on those opportunities I had in the bag, and why I had such a strong feeling that there was something on the horizon – because there was. I now have a salary and benefits at a job that I adore, and I’m so happy and grateful about it I could just throw up.
The only downside of it all is that it came about in sort of a terrible way. I can’t sing and dance about this stroke of luck (at work, anyway) because it came at the expense of another person – someone well-liked who fell on hard times. I’m trying to find the balance between screaming the good news in the faces of my coworkers and feeling gutted about this other person. I’ve just started thinking about the two events – this person losing their job and me getting it – as mutually exclusive, and that seems to help even if it makes me an abominable human being.
So anyway, I’m working. I’m productive. I’m contributing to society. I wake up at 5:40 every day and I’m in bed by 10 every night, except for the frequent evenings that I pass out on the couch at 8:30 while Jon watches football. I’m a Sleeper. It’s what I do. Sleep is important to me, especially when I’m in a work routine, and styling my long hair just didn’t fit in to my early morning schedule so two weeks ago I enlisted Jon to help me lop it off. Six inches gone like THAT. The clumps of wet hair were making slapping noises as they hit the floor. I’ve been trimming my own hair exclusively for the past three years and it didn’t occur to me beforehand that my invented haircut might not work on a shorter style. It did not work on the shorter style. The good news, though, is that after my new hairstylist Jeff surveyed the damage he concluded that it actually didn’t look like I’d cut it myself, it just looked like I’d received a really bad haircut. So. There’s that. Anyway, all that to say that I’m so serious about my sleep I hacked my own hair off with a pair of dull scissors to shorten my morning routine by a few minutes.
In conclusion, when I texted a picture of my new shorter hair to my sister-in-law Lianna (freshly returned to the United States from the Caribbean), this happened:
Me: Why is this British fish-and-chips joint called “The Codfather”?? And look – it’s definitely a reference to the movie – because the employee’s shirts have fish dressed as mafia mobsters on them. Why would a BRITISH fish-and-chips place use a play-on-words of an American/Italian symbol as its name and logo??? This makes no sense.
Total visits: 29,017 Unique visitors: 17,803 (5 times as many as last year!) Page views: 51,245 Google Reader subscribers: 94
Total number of posts: 127 Total number of comments: 599 Least number of comments on a post: Zero (On this one, this one, this one, this one, this one, and this one. And that fourth one is really funny. WTH.) Highest number of comments on a post: 125 (here.) Most viewed post: Same as above (17,282 hits)
Traffic overview:
Top countries:
1. United States 2. Canada 3. United Kingdom 4. Australia 5. Netherlands 6. Netherlands Antilles 7. United Arab Emirates 8. Germany 9. New Zealand 10. Japan
Top states:
1. Utah 2. Idaho 3. California 4. New York 5. Texas 6. Arizona 7. Washington 8. Colorado 9. Virginia 10. Oregon
“krayson” name meaning a nun eating accidentally cut my hamster’s skin baby name trager baby name riggin beach slave brown hairy scabs in my eyes condensed milk exploded in my (Cliffhanger! In your what?? INNN YOURRR WHAAAAAAAT????) couldn’t feel the needle in the cyst crazy old man eyebrows deformed vagina (FOUR people found my blog with this keyword!) don’t name your daughter Idaho fupa hugs hairy butt cheeks how many children named Lucifer in 2010 and 2011? how to name your baby without handicapping it for life is diesel a stupid child name ive made up a beautiful babyname (Well I hope you live in Rexburg so we can all see it come March!) matted pantyhose mykaeleigh shinehah old grandpa mouth oompa loompa fupa procedure to clean up human feces in parking lot rexburf Idaho baby names [sic] riduculous cake [sic] strippers in Rexburg ID tayvian meaning tough cowboy unique made up baby boy names (future parent of a Stetson or Rowdy, perhaps?) unitard and pantyhose (aaaaand my personal favorite) why does my parents named me Jessica
02-12-2008 17:19 Chocolate is good for heart health as well as the palate. Mary Engler discusses the results of her research that show that chocolate and cocoa are rich, plant-derived sources of antioxidant flavonoids that promote beneficial effects to the cardiovascular system. Series: Womens Health Today [11/2008] [Health and Medicine] [Show ID: 15242]
I feel like I need to start this obligatory post how everyone else does – WHAT A YEAR – but the truth is this: My year was actually really boring. After wrapping up our time on Statia and moving back to America there was about a five month lull in Idaho at my parent’s place, followed by a move to Phoenix because we just couldn’t stand waiting around anymore, followed by Jon leaving me for seven weeks to attend a review course, during which time I hit “refresh” on Craiglist job postings over and over and over, punctuated by the occasional interview and many trips to the dog park. At the end of November I finally started working, which means I’ve been productive for exactly five weeks out of the past two and a half years. (If you’re new to the blog, read this brief explanation lest you think terrible things about me.)
The following is a mishmash of my favorite posts, quotes, and comments from the year. Later I’ll do a breakdown of my blog statistics like I did last January.
BEST HOUR OF MY WEEK EXCERPT: “I should have known to not hold a strange ferret up to my face–” [camera pans to her blood-spattered vest] “–I had no idea noses could bleed this much.”
Dolphinsbarn: “Giving a kid many of these names is like giving them a neck tattoo on the way out the womb.”
Christa J.: “I would appreciate you removing the name Vestal from your post. I don’t want it to get too popular before I have children.”
Shannon: “I totally lurked onto this site but have to share one of my favorites from my son’s preschool class: Galligrr. Yes. As in, that’s how a tiger would pronounce it. It’s really spelled that way.”
Kyle M: “@AtSmith, we aren’t ridiculing the kids, we’re ridiculing the parents, and rightly so. These kids will have a handicap throughout their life. If you don’t believe me, watch what I do with your daughter Tayzlee’s resume in 20 years. Just watch!”
Lindsey: “This. Is. Awesome. You just made me really homesick for living in the Utah/Idaho name belt! Long live Vestal!”
FAVORITE ANGRY COMMENTS:
Alison: “…And Alison Wonderland…thanks for stealing my screen name I’ve had since 1993, spelled EXACTLY the same way. $10 says your kids are name Austin, Cason, Peyton and COPYCAT!”
Anonymous: “I am not a huge fan of way out there names or too crazy of spellings but my name is spelled different and I have loved it, and by the way. All of my daughters have different spellings except one and hers is the only name is is pronounced wrong! I think it is strange that a person with an untraditional spelling of a name would ridicule other parents choices in names. Jessie is not “traditionally” a girls name nor is it “traditionally” spelled Jessie. If you are going to pick on people for spelling their daughters name Jesee (or however they spelled it), you should not use your name on the blog, unless you are of course a man and your name is Jesse! Your name was probably an abomination to all those Pearls,Sarah’s, and Abigail’s that had “traditional” and “sensible” names. They probably thought those same things you are thinking about these parents.Again, I don’t think parents should give them stupid names like the Abcd that was mentioned above, but just because a girl is named Katelyn instead of the original Caitlin does not make them bad parents or “poor” children. Thanks,Mandee(and I LOVE my name and I don’t think my parents are stupid)”
(Of course, I couldn’t help but respond…)
“It’s cute because it’s so, so wrong. http://www.behindthename.com/name/jessie-1 Also, say my parents had named me Jhessykah. That would mean I can’t dislike made up names and misspellings? I don’t get it. People don’t name themselves. Certainly if I had a daughter named Payzlee you would have a legitimate point.”
Anonymous: “I don’t care for the name particularly, but my aunt’s name was Vestal. She made enough money to (most likely) buy and sell you.”
MRS TIMBER EXCERPT: “Within the first hour of our visit, she may or may not have told us that her late husband was an impotent alcoholic and that she had to find another man to bless her womb. I could be wrong, though; she requires three interpreters and even then you’ll only understand a quarter of what she’s saying.”
St Maarten EXCERPT: “Once the resulting sandstorm died down enough for me to turn around and look for him, all I saw was his body curled into a little ball, facedown. Turtled, if you will.”
Why meeeee EXCERPT: “The doctor told me the bruising might get worse and spread over the next few days. He also assured me that what he’d extracted was definitely organic and terrestrial.”
SIL INCLUDED BECAUSE: of anonymous’ comment – “wow a lovely also”
Verbatim EXCERPT: “Annie asked Dad if he had a mustache when he was a baby.”
You are NOT the baby’s father EXCERPT: “It couldn’t possibly be that Ricki Lake, THE Ricki Lake, as in, ‘Hi my name is Jessie Sweet, I’m 11 years old and I watch the Ricki Lake Show when my parents aren’t home’ reposted MY update for all 45,688 of her followers to see.”
On the road INCLUDED BECAUSE of the following exchange in the comments:
It’s official! INCLUDED BECAUSE: of the joke at the end that totally bombed. I received no less than four text messages from friends and family wondering what my awesome new job was.
Times I made people cry EXCERPT: “…the essence of it was that we liked Sarah!! and we HATED Amanda!!!! and SHE was the one we didn’t want sitting with us!!!!!!! and there was definitely the word ‘walrus’ in there somewhere.” ALSO INCLUDED BECAUSE: of the comment from my aunt Mariann – “Wait til you have kids. Your numbers will definitely go up!”
————————-
Thanks for reading! Next year might be better! No promises.
We drove up to Salt Lake for Christmas this year. It was a little more low-key than usual – my mom was sick (more on that later), and Corinne’s due any moment with her little boy. Apparently flying cross country while 39 weeks pregnant isn’t advised. (I emailed her yesterday to see what she was up to and she replied, “lolling in bed”. And she didn’t mean Laugh Out Louding. Poor little lamb.)
The drive up!
We thought we were in for it when we saw this storm up ahead of us, but luckily it didn’t slow us down too much:
Happy Anniversary! SEVEN YEARS. My cousin Sarah got married that same day so this was us right before leaving for the reception:
Me being tall:
We walked through temple square afterwards, even though Jon didn’t bring a coat. So so so so so so so so so so beautiful:
Right before Annie snapped the following picture, she took another one, reviewed it, started laughing hysterically and told us it was HORRENDOUS of both of us. Later, when I cycled through the pictures, I found the one she was talking about and I didn’t think it was bad of me at all
(Jon was cold.)
Have you ever really looked at an antelope?
My grandma’s nativity is prettier than your grandma’s nativity:
Jon found three sticks of string cheese in his coat pocket. He hadn’t worn the coat in a year.
Christmas Day! We spent it at Annie’s house in Heber. Jon and I slept over the night before and my parents drove up from Salt Lake for the day. We had the most delicious breakfast EVER (eggs Newport, ever heard of it? You layer English muffins, ham, a delicious mixture of hollandaise and sliced hardboiled eggs, with crumbled bacon on top), then opened presents, then watched Inception, then made our traditional fondue for dinner.
My parents had to leave a couple of hours before we made chocolate fondue, and they totally missed out:
Back at my grandparents’ house; dad holding Gunner’s head up for him again.
CONCLUSION: The worst part of the entire trip was when my mom got a virus in her ear that made her dizzy, nauseated, and bed-ridden for three whole days. The best part of the entire trip was when, at the wedding reception, my cousin Adam picked a piece of food out of his salad and asked my brother-in-law Steve if it was an apple slice. Steve responded with a little too much gusto, “It’s jicama” – and as he said it, a big chunk of jicama flew out of his mouth and landed on the floor.
(We are currently in Utah. I wrote this blog post two days ago and never got around to publishing it. Woopsies. Also, since this was written, we celebrated our SEVENTH wedding anniversary which probably deserves its own post but isn’t going to get it.)
I have been such a slacker. Working full time is not conducive to regular blogging, and it hasn’t helped that there’s been nothing particularly newsworthy going on ever since I got this job. We leave this afternoon for Utah for Christmas so I should probably tell you about the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom before we go:
This is the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom.
And I’ll conclude with this picture of Penny – to date, my favorite picture of her ever. Something to do with the expression on her face and the fact that she’s holding her toy with her freaky shorn feet.
Sometime someone ask me a question immediately after I take a swig of water so that I can answer normally without swallowing first. We are going to laugh SO hard.
When we lived in Tucson, I worked for the best company on earth for two and a half years. I won’t get sappy about it, even though A) my feelings about it are very sappy, and B) those were some of the happiest years of my entire life. I’ll just say that leaving was heartbreaking, and I’m absolutely certain that I’d still be working there were it not for our quitting America temporarily so Jon could attend medical school.
When we knew we were for sure moving to Phoenix (where the company is headquartered) I immediately got in touch with my old HR manager and let her know I would be in the area and looking for work. Her reply was disappointing but left me the faintest glimmer of hope – they were still on a reduced staff after 100+ layoffs, but she’d keep me in mind if anything cropped up over the next few months.
Something finally cropped up last week, but NO ONE GET TOO EXCITED because it’s only a temporary position for December and some of January. I knew what it was when I agreed to it, and come the new year I’ll be back to square one unless I can get something else lined up before then. Still, that being said….it is so good to be back, even just for a little while. The work is easy but fulfilling, the people are old friends, the commute is pleasant, I work half-days on Fridays, and, in short, there is nothing else I’d rather be doing this holiday season. It helps that Jon is being really boring lately what with studying 10 hours a day and all. It also helps that the office is absolutely gorgeous.
Finally, pictures from our trip to Utah for Thanksgiving.
On the way there, we flew right over the Grand Canyon. It was awesome. We also passed directly over Kennecotte copper mine (sadly, unpictured).
Our first day there, the whole family went to the new Natural History Museum of Utah. Quite a view from the balcony at sunset.
Me, Annie
My favorite part. Wall o’ Ceratopsians.
Me, Annie, Thanksgiving (and my birthday!) morning.
Crab drink! A Sweet family holiday staple. Clamato juice, crab meat, grapefruit. It is much more delicious than it sounds. (It’s like ceviche! Ceviche soup. Served cold. Nothing to be afraid of.)
Annie’s an art major and used the family as subjects for her weekly sketch assignment. Here she is doing a ten-minute portrait of Serena, our sister-in-law.
Jon and The General at the Hogle Zoo.
Lemur, Serena
I won’t tell you the disgusting thing it was doing. Let’s just say that apparently gorillas like to eat their own barf.
I was so glad we decided to go to Music and the Spoken Word in the old Tabernacle building on Temple Square, because it was their first week doing Christmas music! It’s not Christmas without MoTab.
The assembly hall.
Cool fountain in the new City Creek development.
And then….the drive home. View of Mount Timpanogos on the way from Heber to Provo.
During the trip back, the Mazda turned 388,888 kilometers and Jon was insistent on me taking a picture.
?Serena won best moment of the entire trip with her dramatic retelling of a childhood story. She was watching a neighbor’s chickens and one of them died. When she went to step on the fresh grave to tamp down the dirt, the thing let out a nightmarish, guttural gobble from under the earth – the result of some surplus air inside its lungs.
(There’s a reason for the delay in putting up this post. I’ll tell you all about it another time.)
We boarded Penny at a kennel while we were in Utah, and I wondered how much of her time there she’d spend barking. My question was answered shortly after she arrived home.
